I am slowly allowing feminine into my bedroom.  To begin to feel secure enough in my worth to choose the things I like without having to explain why I like them. I no longer need to justify my actions, my choices my preferences. I can put purple in my bedroom.  First I began with a bedspread, recycled from the guest room. Deep and rich and large enough to fit on my bed.  I like it.  It matches nothing in the room and I don’t care. I don’t have to care. There is nobody important enough to have to justify my decision to.  And anyone important enough would not require justification anyway.  My sheets have suddenly turned purple.  Ahhhh. I like them.  They have provided companionship for my comforter. No plan. They just simply arrived one day and meshed. I came across my mother’s old curtain panels from her upstairs guest room. I always loved those panels.  She was tired of them and passed them on to me.  I accepted them without a purpose. Today they have found their place. With flowers all purple and pretty they are a perfect replacement for those panels I bought in Big Lots not too long ago that I never could quite look at without wincing.  Now I love the way the new (old) panels embrace the bedspread and sheets.  A welcome addition that also enters a whole new level of meaning since my mom has passed.  Now instead of wincing, I smile and fill with joy. There is a hint of purple in the flowers that participate in creating the “O” in the “J-O-Y” picture over my bed.  The “O” is actually a peace sign and the purple accents are a part of it.  It’s a perfect amount. And if I look hard enough I can detect a sliver of purple in the Sunrise-Full Moon picture that I took on my 50th birthday morning in Sedona, AZ that I had canvassed and hung on my wall.  My bedroom, unassumingly is beginning to support the presence of me. I am being honored with subtle entries. Slowly and definitively.  Purple, a color I didn’t think I really cared for, has set in motion a process of freeing my desire to always get approval from others in order to feel worth. I love my added purple accents. I love that they stand for freedom. I love that they bring me joy. I love that they have meaning.