What has become of my decision to leave an unhealthy marriage despite the pressure and advice from the majority to “work it out”; “wait for the magic”; “honor and obey”? What happens to a person when they find their voice against the shouts of popular demands preaching the contrary? What happens to a person when they stop trying to defend and explain themselves and start accepting themselves for who they are? What happens if the scenario becomes even more unpopular and unintentional love is realized between two “unavailable” people and they opt to expose it at the risk of being human and exemplifying honesty and truth and that painfully catches the wrath of those in disagreement? And then, like truths past, becomes twisted and tortured by those who have no business defining who or what it is you are? What happens when rather than accept what others define as your truth you begin to live out what you know it to be?
We have no business trying to dismantle the truth of others. Piecing ourselves together to selectively form what appears whole so that we can claim safe cover through the manicured assembly of it’s illusion is a lie. It causes friction at the height of its mating season and we walk around like robots saying what we think we should say and behaving like we think we should behave never really granting entrance into our soul.
If, on the other hand, we face our imperfections and own them, we can be seen for who we are. Not by all though. There are many who are not yet able to truly see whether we are holding back or whether we are being as authentic as we can be. The authentic version is the one that brings about change. The daring leap to be ourselves with the suspicion of scrutiny lurking at the slightest attempt to get closer to honoring our true spirit is a threatening demon.
Are we brave enough to face it and peek our heads out of the shell like a turtle venturing out when he senses that the coast is clear? Or do we retreat back in and hide and live in a protected world never knowing what could have been? I sometimes want to be the turtle who has chosen to hide. I have explored a little too far, however, and have gotten a taste of the beauty that is out there. Scary as hell at times; and beautiful! I want my legs and head out far to feel and see and be who I was meant to be. I’d rather get stung trying then die inside my shell and never know.
Picture on Wall at Amityville Animal Hospital (of Turtle Venturing Out)