Category: 12 Step

Questioning Commitment and Truth

I walk into a long overdue yoga class after weeks and days of feeling overwhelmed by my life. I have not been to a 12-step meeting in a long time either. Emotional and spiritual practice: Fail. Nor have I blogged. My sponsor poses the question as to why I think that is. I want to ignore the question […]

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Feeling Yucky at 9… or 49

Sometimes my little guy withdraws. If he is angry or annoyed or sad or experiencing anything beyond what most of us would describe as simple, unpleasant emotion he clams up and there is what feels to me like an impossible wall to penetrate. I keep trying. I keep hoping. It breaks my heart because, for […]

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Heartbroken. (We Have to Carry Each Other & the Infinity 8)

Waking up and putting my feet on the floor and going to spin class after crying for two days was not easy for me. The point is, even though I felt like dying, I’m not dead. And as long as I’m alive I have a job to do. And that job is to live. As […]

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Binging to Avoid Emotion

After about 2 hours of what I tried convincing myself would be my last binge (again) I came up from my 2nd bowl of granola for air. It’s been awhile since I’ve taken part in this section of my disease and my ego attempts to reason with my intellect by pointing out that it’s a […]

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When to Duct Tape

My daughter is having ACL (knee) surgery so I am writing. I walked with her into the hospital early this morning fighting the demons that churn in my soul regarding not only my own unpleasant experience with ACL reconstruction but perhaps more intensely the return to this hospital where I spent so much time watching my […]

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My “Wild” Messenger

I have ventured from my comfort zone today and made a call to a friend to ask for help. I am experiencing pain and sadness on a level that I have not yet been familiar with. My will wants it to just go away.  My friend made an appointment to call me at 7:30. As […]

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