Category: Healing

Beyond My Comfort Zone

It’s amazing what happens to my body and mind when I wade through the waves of something I am uncomfortable doing. I am self-trained at avoiding conflict at all costs. Putting up my hands to defend myself when I could just suck up the punches is a foreign arena. It numbs me and distorts my […]

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Anxiety, Addiction & the Fear of Being Still

The truth is; I’m fucking terrified. Of being still. I work really hard at filling my moments with things that feel good. I’ve long since replaced the bad-for-me “feel good” things with things that I believe are good for me. Instead of mind altering and body numbing additives that attack my liver, and blood and […]

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Rainbows and Seasons

There were some sad spots in my day today. I was missing My mom quite a bit and wanted to call her. For the first time in 20 months it sunk in that this would never be a possibility again. Denial? Time? I then thought about calling 2 or 3 other people who I used […]

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Questioning, Questioning. Death and Rebirth. People and Things.

How much validation is there in the Christian practice that seeing the dead body helps to obtain closure? Do the Jews get over it much more slowly than those that have the ritual of an open casket? If so, I think I’m ready to see it, the dead body. (I don’t really want to see it.) But […]

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Leaping and Feeling the Pain

As I drive up to mom,s condo I sense the denial of what inevitably is to come and tears simply start to flow.  As it has been, I make my way through the front door and feel numb.  I want to numb more.  I collapse on the bathroom floor, a grown woman feeling like a child.  I […]

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Emotional Growth Beside My Daughter

I cannot count the number of times it has been commented to me by family and friends over the past 2 months how my 16 year old daughter has changed, how she has matured in this past year.  I see it too and I wonder what has transpired to cause it.  It’s a positive change.  Growth, […]

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