I Am a Rock (But What is Inside?)

My friend and I used to have this discussion about how we were often referred to as rocks as in: “a rock”.  That context brings about an image of being tough, unpenetratable, able to deflect hard things without feeling them.  Paul Simon also pairs that image with being “an island”.  I have been both of these things.  It’s easier being an island that …”never cries” or a rock that “…feels no pain.”

And did you ever try and get to the center of one?  Now that’s not easy. Though when I break open a rock the inside is often a beautifully fascinating design of swirls and details and crystals, unlike anything I’d expect from looking at the outside.  It is safe being a rock until someone breaks you open. Opening myself up to the vulnerability of what is beautiful inside is a scary thing. Exposure and showing myself as something other than what I’ve always appeared to be might indicate that I am not really who I wanted people to see me as. As an island, I could keep to myself, isolated; protected.  Easier, too. Safe from the risk of judgement and criticism, and God forbid somebody seeing me. The island takes on a whole new meaning.

Several years ago in my friend group, we initiated a discussion which became an ongoing game. We asked one another to choose just one other person from the group to be on their (imaginary) island.  The choice we had made at the time seems to be ever changing. I have thrown my chosen person off my island many times, traded her in for someone else and in turn been booted and traded at times as well (all in the spirit of love).  Sometimes we re-invite one another. The invitation is usually indicative of something we are wanting to receive at the time that is available from the friend we are inviting. We all have different strengths to offer and our desire to receive what is a available from someone else differs depending on the moment. There really is not one of us that can fully satisfy all of our needs and to expect that is unrealistic. We rely on each other’s strengths according to where we may be emotionally, physically or spiritually at that particular place in time. That’s why we are blessed to be a group of many… a village, a Universe.  That’s why the island game is so intriguing. We receive fulfillment from different people during specific times if we are in tune enough to know what we need and who is in a place to give it. We never have to be an island or on an island all alone. It is our job to know who to invite that will be capable and available to help us according to what we desire at the moment. The point is, while apparently safe alone on my island, it’s lonely. The support and direction I receive from those I invite to my island encourages me to explore and grow and a big part of that is knowing who is trustworthy enough to invite.  I am learning to consider only those that are able to offer from a place of love.  Those that are fearless enough to crack me open and look for my beauty are worth exposing myself to. Being a rock… (or an island) is easier, yes. Though the deflection and isolation prevents us from discovering the true beauty within.