Tag: acceptance
A Heavy and Knowing Heart
September 13, 2018
The silence is screaming in my head. My deeper truth knows it’s okay. My presentable self is deciding whether or not I am being honest. I wonder if I am really accepting the approaching marriage of my ex-husband, tomorrow, to another woman or whether I am suppressing emotions that I am afraid will surface. I’m […]
Three Angry Birds
March 15, 2018
I often look to nature for symbolism and answers when I am internally conflicted. Internal conflict amounts to confusion, frustration, anger, fog, and a host of other uncertainties that I am not fond of. Birds often provide me with some clarity and a shot at detangling the message if I am able to get to […]
Inner Truth Trumps Fear, Every Time
April 3, 2017
I have become entranced by the propeller that sits idle just outside my window. It works its way into a crescendo rotating into a magical Spin Art image that brings me back to a memory of my son at the age of 6; squeezing paint in different colors onto a spinning cardboard canvas. I am […]
Anxiety, Addiction & the Fear of Being Still
February 19, 2017
The truth is; I’m fucking terrified. Of being still. I work really hard at filling my moments with things that feel good. I’ve long since replaced the bad-for-me “feel good” things with things that I believe are good for me. Instead of mind altering and body numbing additives that attack my liver, and blood and […]
Walking Through the Fire
December 25, 2016
I have been walking through a multiple alarm fire. It feels like hard stuff. My fear has tempted me to hide under the bed and endure a little more smoke. At least I could crawl up in a ball there and feel safe. My higher power has encouraged me to challenge the flames and focus […]
Questioning, Questioning. Death and Rebirth. People and Things.
October 12, 2016
How much validation is there in the Christian practice that seeing the dead body helps to obtain closure? Do the Jews get over it much more slowly than those that have the ritual of an open casket? If so, I think I’m ready to see it, the dead body. (I don’t really want to see it.) But […]
Questioning Commitment and Truth
August 8, 2016
I walk into a long overdue yoga class after weeks and days of feeling overwhelmed by my life. I have not been to a 12-step meeting in a long time either. Emotional and spiritual practice: Fail. Nor have I blogged. My sponsor poses the question as to why I think that is. I want to ignore the question […]
How I Know a Dove Represents My Mom
April 23, 2016
This Island, Culebra, offers a generous representation of morning doves. Cooing, floating, making sure I know they are there. It’s quite comforting. It has become clear to me in this moment, why, on the morning of my mother’s burial (my birthday) that the Universe presented her to me on the roof of a neighbors home in […]
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