Category: Love

Questioning, Questioning. Death and Rebirth. People and Things.

How much validation is there in the Christian practice that seeing the dead body helps to obtain closure? Do the Jews get over it much more slowly than those that have the ritual of an open casket? If so, I think I’m ready to see it, the dead body. (I don’t really want to see it.) But […]

Read More

Obligation v. Spirit

I am choosing my spirit over obligation. It took a long time to decide this because I was of the mindset that I could fulfill both my promise to stay in my marriage and preserve my spirit. When the sacrifice poisoned more of my spirit than it promoted, I battled to sync the two. It […]

Read More

Feeling Yucky at 9… or 49

Sometimes my little guy withdraws. If he is angry or annoyed or sad or experiencing anything beyond what most of us would describe as simple, unpleasant emotion he clams up and there is what feels to me like an impossible wall to penetrate. I keep trying. I keep hoping. It breaks my heart because, for […]

Read More

Unpopular.

What has become of my decision to leave an unhealthy marriage despite the pressure and advice from the majority to “work it out”; “wait for the magic”; “honor and obey”?  What happens to a person when they find their voice against the shouts of popular demands preaching the contrary?  What happens to a person when […]

Read More

17 Years Earlier (Excerpts from the Birth of Tariana Jade)

Today is my 3rd baby’s birthday.  She is 17 and drove me home tonight.  She is just as beautiful today as the day she was born.  I have a ritual of sorts to go back on the birthdays of my children and re-read my account of their births. Many times I share the stories with them on their […]

Read More

Love, Worth & the Color Purple

I am slowly allowing feminine into my bedroom.  To begin to feel secure enough in my worth to choose the things I like without having to explain why I like them. I no longer need to justify my actions, my choices my preferences. I can put purple in my bedroom.  First I began with a […]

Read More

Christmas Day Uncaged

  I’m amazed! There is a world that exists on Christmas Day beyond the one that I’ve always known. As I run through the trails today it reminds me of how I felt when I stopped drinking alcohol. When I quit alcohol I so clearly remember being shocked that there were actually people who did […]

Read More