Category: Grief

My Thriving Plant

My plant is thriving. Nearly 3 years later. The plant had been given to me by my 2 closest friends. They were (still are) married to each other.  They were my anchors in my greatest times of need. The plant was a gesture of kind wishes as my marriage came to a close and my […]

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Questioning, Questioning. Death and Rebirth. People and Things.

How much validation is there in the Christian practice that seeing the dead body helps to obtain closure? Do the Jews get over it much more slowly than those that have the ritual of an open casket? If so, I think I’m ready to see it, the dead body. (I don’t really want to see it.) But […]

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Letting Them Grow

I walked into the restroom at the rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike on my way down to Temple University so I can hold my daughter, Dreya’s, hand at the age of 18 when she got her wisdom tooth extracted. There was a little platinum blonde girl (as Dreya had been) at the sink washing […]

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Binging to Avoid Emotion

After about 2 hours of what I tried convincing myself would be my last binge (again) I came up from my 2nd bowl of granola for air. It’s been awhile since I’ve taken part in this section of my disease and my ego attempts to reason with my intellect by pointing out that it’s a […]

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Leaping and Feeling the Pain

As I drive up to mom,s condo I sense the denial of what inevitably is to come and tears simply start to flow.  As it has been, I make my way through the front door and feel numb.  I want to numb more.  I collapse on the bathroom floor, a grown woman feeling like a child.  I […]

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My “Wild” Messenger

I have ventured from my comfort zone today and made a call to a friend to ask for help. I am experiencing pain and sadness on a level that I have not yet been familiar with. My will wants it to just go away.  My friend made an appointment to call me at 7:30. As […]

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