Questioning, Questioning. Death and Rebirth. People and Things.
How much validation is there in the Christian practice that seeing the dead body helps to obtain closure? Do the Jews get over it much more slowly than those that have the ritual of an open casket? If so, I think I’m ready to see it, the dead body.
(I don’t really want to see it.)
But I’m curious. If there’s a possibility that it will help me to move on then I’m bracing myself for the viewing. I’ve been avoiding it because I don’t want it to be true. If I see that it’s true than I can no longer pretend that it’s not. I’m not so sure I can handle that just yet. Who really wants to be confronted with the possibility that something is final when there was so much hope and joy in the life of it?
(Maybe it’s better to let it decompose so it’s unrecognizable when the time comes? Maybe the time will never come and I can just skip the hard part of the story.)
Would this form of denial rob me of the beauty that can be born out of the pain? Does anything ever really die? Is anything really ever final?
Maybe the transformation of existence is not meant to be viewed in the physical state it becomes. Perhaps it’s a lot more significant than a maggot infested corpse. Perhaps it’s so big and beautiful that it’s not really about seeing it. It’s really about feeling it…
And knowing it!
Healing from it!
Letting it be a beginning instead of an end.
That still leaves me contemplating how important it is to view the remains in order to obtain closure and move on. I am leaning toward the idea that it’s helpful to witness the cold stiff flesh to help clarify that it is no longer what it was. It will never be what it was. Look back first. See how it looks now. And then…
Open up wide…
Let in the endless possibilities of the new life that is being morphed as a result of the life that once was.