Tag: truth

The Queen and the Pawn

I was playing chess with Caleb the other day. It’s been a while. I had to brush up on some rules and we helped each other along the way.  I studied the players; their power; their worth. What has stuck with me over the last few days is Caleb’s question: “Isn’t it possible to get […]

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Beyond My Comfort Zone

It’s amazing what happens to my body and mind when I wade through the waves of something I am uncomfortable doing. I am self-trained at avoiding conflict at all costs. Putting up my hands to defend myself when I could just suck up the punches is a foreign arena. It numbs me and distorts my […]

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Inner Truth Trumps Fear, Every Time

I have become entranced by the propeller that sits idle just outside my window. It works its way into a crescendo rotating into a magical Spin Art image that brings me back to a memory of my son at the age of 6; squeezing paint in different colors onto a spinning cardboard canvas. I am […]

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Anxiety, Addiction & the Fear of Being Still

The truth is; I’m fucking terrified. Of being still. I work really hard at filling my moments with things that feel good. I’ve long since replaced the bad-for-me “feel good” things with things that I believe are good for me. Instead of mind altering and body numbing additives that attack my liver, and blood and […]

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“Enlightenment is Imminent” (In the Spirit of the Hawk)

I get to feel out loud when I write. It qualifies what is inside and makes it more real. Accountable, vulnerable, exposed and real. Why not? If judgments are coming my way they are coming whether I expose my humanness or not. They are coming whether they are accurately evaluated; or not. Putting myself out there […]

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Questioning Commitment and Truth

I walk into a long overdue yoga class after weeks and days of feeling overwhelmed by my life. I have not been to a 12-step meeting in a long time either. Emotional and spiritual practice: Fail. Nor have I blogged. My sponsor poses the question as to why I think that is. I want to ignore the question […]

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Emotional Growth Beside My Daughter

I cannot count the number of times it has been commented to me by family and friends over the past 2 months how my 16 year old daughter has changed, how she has matured in this past year.  I see it too and I wonder what has transpired to cause it.  It’s a positive change.  Growth, […]

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Happy 50th Birthday to Me, A Gift From the Universe

It is sunrise on the morning of my 50th birthday and I am sobbing because I am overcome with the intensity of the portrait I am viewing.  It is a gift like no other and I am having a hard time believing that it is for me.  It is though, for me.  I am worthy. […]

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Drum Circle, Full Moon, Cathedral Rock, AZ

From a short distance away I listen to the drummers orchestrating a beat as the full moon reveals itself to Cathedral Rock, one of the infamous vortexes in Sedona, AZ.  I have been led here in spite of those that indicated that the drum circle doesn’t happen here at this time of year.  Either way I […]

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“Gypsy” by Fleetwood Mac; Meaning Explored

Last night I heard a rendition of Fleetwood Mac’s “Gypsy” sung by Katie Basden on the tv show “The Voice” that stoked me to tears.  (I know. I know. That doesn’t take much these days, but still.)  I interpreted (actually, I felt) those lyrics on a level that I haven’t quite received in this capacity […]

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