Tag: truth
A Heavy and Knowing Heart
September 13, 2018
The silence is screaming in my head. My deeper truth knows it’s okay. My presentable self is deciding whether or not I am being honest. I wonder if I am really accepting the approaching marriage of my ex-husband, tomorrow, to another woman or whether I am suppressing emotions that I am afraid will surface. I’m […]
My Thriving Plant
May 12, 2018
My plant is thriving. Nearly 3 years later. The plant had been given to me by my 2 closest friends. They were (still are) married to each other. They were my anchors in my greatest times of need. The plant was a gesture of kind wishes as my marriage came to a close and my […]
Three Angry Birds
March 15, 2018
I often look to nature for symbolism and answers when I am internally conflicted. Internal conflict amounts to confusion, frustration, anger, fog, and a host of other uncertainties that I am not fond of. Birds often provide me with some clarity and a shot at detangling the message if I am able to get to […]
The Queen and the Pawn
May 24, 2017
I was playing chess with Caleb the other day. It’s been a while. I had to brush up on some rules and we helped each other along the way. I studied the players; their power; their worth. What has stuck with me over the last few days is Caleb’s question: “Isn’t it possible to get […]
Beyond My Comfort Zone
April 26, 2017
It’s amazing what happens to my body and mind when I wade through the waves of something I am uncomfortable doing. I am self-trained at avoiding conflict at all costs. Putting up my hands to defend myself when I could just suck up the punches is a foreign arena. It numbs me and distorts my […]
Inner Truth Trumps Fear, Every Time
April 3, 2017
I have become entranced by the propeller that sits idle just outside my window. It works its way into a crescendo rotating into a magical Spin Art image that brings me back to a memory of my son at the age of 6; squeezing paint in different colors onto a spinning cardboard canvas. I am […]
Anxiety, Addiction & the Fear of Being Still
February 19, 2017
The truth is; I’m fucking terrified. Of being still. I work really hard at filling my moments with things that feel good. I’ve long since replaced the bad-for-me “feel good” things with things that I believe are good for me. Instead of mind altering and body numbing additives that attack my liver, and blood and […]
“Enlightenment is Imminent” (In the Spirit of the Hawk)
September 5, 2016
I get to feel out loud when I write. It qualifies what is inside and makes it more real. Accountable, vulnerable, exposed and real. Why not? If judgments are coming my way they are coming whether I expose my humanness or not. They are coming whether they are accurately evaluated; or not. Putting myself out there […]
Questioning Commitment and Truth
August 8, 2016
I walk into a long overdue yoga class after weeks and days of feeling overwhelmed by my life. I have not been to a 12-step meeting in a long time either. Emotional and spiritual practice: Fail. Nor have I blogged. My sponsor poses the question as to why I think that is. I want to ignore the question […]
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