Category: 12 Step
Take Action or Surrender (Which is it?)
September 21, 2017
I have this mild debate with my friend Bonnie from time to time. The conversation is so respectful that if you weren’t really paying attention, you probably would never notice it was a debate. I was thinking about it right before I received and read a quote from Abraham Hicks. “Your action has nothing to do […]
Questioning Commitment and Truth
August 8, 2016
I walk into a long overdue yoga class after weeks and days of feeling overwhelmed by my life. I have not been to a 12-step meeting in a long time either. Emotional and spiritual practice: Fail. Nor have I blogged. My sponsor poses the question as to why I think that is. I want to ignore the question […]
Feeling Yucky at 9… or 49
May 19, 2016
Sometimes my little guy withdraws. If he is angry or annoyed or sad or experiencing anything beyond what most of us would describe as simple, unpleasant emotion he clams up and there is what feels to me like an impossible wall to penetrate. I keep trying. I keep hoping. It breaks my heart because, for […]
Heartbroken. (We Have to Carry Each Other & the Infinity 8)
May 15, 2016
Waking up and putting my feet on the floor and going to spin class after crying for two days was not easy for me. The point is, even though I felt like dying, I’m not dead. And as long as I’m alive I have a job to do. And that job is to live. As […]
Binging to Avoid Emotion
May 12, 2016
After about 2 hours of what I tried convincing myself would be my last binge (again) I came up from my 2nd bowl of granola for air. It’s been awhile since I’ve taken part in this section of my disease and my ego attempts to reason with my intellect by pointing out that it’s a […]
When to Duct Tape
April 14, 2016
My daughter is having ACL (knee) surgery so I am writing. I walked with her into the hospital early this morning fighting the demons that churn in my soul regarding not only my own unpleasant experience with ACL reconstruction but perhaps more intensely the return to this hospital where I spent so much time watching my […]
My “Wild” Messenger
April 2, 2016
I have ventured from my comfort zone today and made a call to a friend to ask for help. I am experiencing pain and sadness on a level that I have not yet been familiar with. My will wants it to just go away. My friend made an appointment to call me at 7:30. As […]
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