Tag: fear

Inner Truth Trumps Fear, Every Time

I have become entranced by the propeller that sits idle just outside my window. It works its way into a crescendo rotating into a magical Spin Art image that brings me back to a memory of my son at the age of 6; squeezing paint in different colors onto a spinning cardboard canvas. I am […]

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Anxiety, Addiction & the Fear of Being Still

The truth is; I’m fucking terrified. Of being still. I work really hard at filling my moments with things that feel good. I’ve long since replaced the bad-for-me “feel good” things with things that I believe are good for me. Instead of mind altering and body numbing additives that attack my liver, and blood and […]

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Walking Through the Fire

I have been walking through a multiple alarm fire.  It feels like hard stuff. My fear has tempted me to hide under the bed and endure a little more smoke. At least I could crawl up in a ball there and feel safe. My higher power has encouraged me to challenge the flames and focus […]

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Obligation v. Spirit

I am choosing my spirit over obligation. It took a long time to decide this because I was of the mindset that I could fulfill both my promise to stay in my marriage and preserve my spirit. When the sacrifice poisoned more of my spirit than it promoted, I battled to sync the two. It […]

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Athabasca Falls, Alberta, Canada

The Canadian Rockies Backroads trip has been untouched as far as nature is concerned. I am awed by the scenery and by the camaraderie. More than that I believe I was led here to accept and let go. Yesterday we got off our bikes to take in Athabasca Falls. I became consumed by its power. […]

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Leaping and Feeling the Pain

As I drive up to mom,s condo I sense the denial of what inevitably is to come and tears simply start to flow.  As it has been, I make my way through the front door and feel numb.  I want to numb more.  I collapse on the bathroom floor, a grown woman feeling like a child.  I […]

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My “Wild” Messenger

I have ventured from my comfort zone today and made a call to a friend to ask for help. I am experiencing pain and sadness on a level that I have not yet been familiar with. My will wants it to just go away.  My friend made an appointment to call me at 7:30. As […]

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