Athabasca Falls, Alberta, Canada
The Canadian Rockies Backroads trip has been untouched as far as nature is concerned. I am awed by the scenery and by the camaraderie. More than that I believe I was led here to accept and let go. Yesterday we got off our bikes to take in Athabasca Falls. I became consumed by its power. Staring into its force, I am mesmerized by its intention. I look down and notice a long detached branch wedged between 2 masses of rock. It is high enough above the tumultuous chasm below it to warrant a relative degree of safety. Two sister branches are being tossed about underneath in the swirl. I wonder how long it has been stuck. I wonder if it will ever break free or if for the remainder of its time it will be wedged above the turbulence of the wild force below it. I imagine that she is safe where she is unlike her sister branches in an apparent state of distress. Though for how long can she hang on waiting, wondering what will become of her? I get it more than I care to. It’s hard for me to behave as though I am not at the mercy of my will. That habit interferes with my peace and my well intended journey winds up suspended above a vicious whirlpool of uncertainty and too often I give that fortress the power to infiltrate my soul. Can I live with the uncertainties that surround my life or can I somehow break free and carry out my own intended journey in harmony with the forces that feel threatening to me? I am trying so hard to just observe the twists and turns in my path instead of becoming tangled up in their undertow. I’d like to respect the opportunity the unsettled circumstances offer. That feels too overwhelming to me sometimes. I am wounded. I feel stuck. Though somehow I know in this moment that my purpose is to move forward from this point despite how intense the current may seem. I am so afraid to let myself fall into the eddy and get knocked up against the rocks and wind up in that unknown place that the force is calling me to. I know I must un-wedge myself from the safety of this terrifying position I have been stationed in and face what is to come. Trusting the the force which is clearly so much bigger will guide me and support me. If I am brave enough to let go, perhaps I may just enjoy the ride. I have been hanging on here in between the safety of my two rock walls long enough now. Its time to pry my heart open just a little more and seek the possibility of the unknown. And then embrace it. I will do my best to gather as much information as is available to me and process what I receive. Then I will move forward. Their may be churn and rumble when I drop into what is beneath me. I pray that it will eventually lead me to calm waters with a beautiful landscape before my eyes; and peace in my soul.